The Ripe Old Age Of 3

Drake has been amazing CJ and I with all his talking. I tell all of our close family about all his funny little stories and they are adamant that I need to be writing this stuff done.
Here's a couple funny/cute (well, I find them funny) stories.

CJ's dad had a little black dog named Max, and one day Drake was over at his Aunt Shaylee's house playing with a little girl named Cami. Well, Cami doesn't articulate her words quite as well as Drake does and so Drake was getting rather frustrated with Cami when she would call the dog "Ma" and not "Max". Well, a couple weeks later Drake and I were walking to the car when Drake informed me "Grandpa's dog is black"
Me: "oh, is he?"
Drake: "Ya, he's black, and his name is Max"
Me: "Cool, did you go play with Max the other day?"
Drake: "ya, and Cami, but she says Ma, not Max"
Me: "oh she does?"
Drake: "Ya, but it's not Ma, it's MAX"

It's not a hilarious story, but it goes to show what a big boss he thinks he is!! Little stinker!

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Drake is getting to the point where he will start having memories of things and the last thing I need him to remember is his mom naked, so I don't change or go to the bathroom in front of him anymore. Well he's all potty trained (things went smooth, YAY!) and we call "it" his "wee wee". Well about 2 months ago, right after the potty training ended I went into the bathroom to go number one. Well I didn't shut the door all the way and so Drake came bee boppin' in "What you doin' mama?" He said
Me: "Drake, I'm going to the bathroom. Please go out and shut the door."
Drake: "Oh, are you just peeing out of your wee wee?"
Me: "No, Drake I'm not peeing out of my wee wee. I don't even have a wee wee. Shut the door."
I then went out and tried to explain to Drake that girls don't have wee wee's and that only boys have those, his response; "Oh, so girls just poop?"

Honestly, how do you respond to that!? I know of an ER nurse that taught her children the real and direct names for their body parts and they got Child Services called on them. When her kids were at day care they were talking about their Penis and Vagina and the day care lady thought that they might be being abused or something because what 4 and 5 year would know that much about the body??? CRAZY!

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My son is the spitting image of my husband. It scares me! Ha! I put in the movie Bambie for Drake while I hopped in the shower one day. When I got out Drake was sitting on the couch watching Bambie, THROUGH HIS BINOCULARS!!! And when I asked him what he was doing he shhh'd me and told me that the deer were fighting. Oh, ok then.

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My dad is hunter, ahugethatisallheeverwantstodo hunter. The other day Drake and I were up at my parents while CJ was off on some OT work. Well, my dad was expecting a couple guys to come over and pick up a gun that he had been working on for them. The guys showed up and my dad and them stepped into the front room. Drake slipped out of my grasp and wanted to check out what Grandpa was doing so he ran into the front room. I yelled for Drake to come back to me but he had already struck up a conversation. My dad told the guys that Drake knew more North America and African animals than any other 3 year (which is probably right) and that Drake is my dads re-loading budding (re-loading of ammunition, for those of you that don't know). Well Drake went in there and was talking about butterflies and how butterflies are not scary and so on and so forth. Meanwhile my mom and I were dying of laughter that Drake was talking about butterflies in front of these hunter guys. Then one of them asked Drake what his favorite animal was. Drake said "UMMMMMM" (he thought forever) Finally my dad interrupted the silence by saying to Drake "He asked you a question, be nice and tell him what your favorite animal is". I was crossing my fingers that Drake would make his grandpa proud by announcing any other animal besides butterfly or something along those lines. Finally Drake blurted out " A Caribou" ("YAY!" I thought, and I'm sure my dad did as well) They all started laughing and the guys who asked the question said "That's impressive. I didn't even know what a Caribou was until I was 12!"

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The most recent funny story was just the other day. CJ's Birthday was May 13th and that night we were going to a dinner with my family and my little sister's soon to be in-law's family. She was getting married the very next day and wanted us all to meet and mingle before the big day. I asked Whit (my little sister and the bride-to-be) if it would be ok to bring cake and ice cream to the dinner for a fun little SURPRISE for CJ. She agreed that it would be fun. Well, Drake and I went to the store to pick up candles and Drake started to whine that he wanted a birthday and that he wanted candles. I explained to him that he just got a birthday and that these candles were for daddy. On the way home I called CJ and put the phone on speaker for Drake to talk to him and wish him a happy birthday.
Drake: "Happy Birthday Daddy I love you"
CJ "Thanks buddy I love you too! What you doin'?"
Drake: "I'm with mama, I got your candles!!!!"