Something I'm Trying to Understand

Does anyone else have a hard time with Death? It seems like my family (my side of the family & CJ's side) has had our fair share of passings for the next long while. During the last year my step Grandpa, My Grandpa's sister, my Cousin, CJ's sweet Grandpa and his Aunt have all passed away. CJ had a very hard time with the passing of his Grandpa. He was like a dad to him. He was a man of very little words but you could always see the huge amount of love he had for CJ and our little boy Drake. CJ did nothing but look up to and admire his Grandpa.
But, I don't get it. I know it's just part of the journey and our plan here on this earth but it's so hard for the one's left behind. It's like that Toby Keith song... "...I'm not crying 'cause I feel so sorry for you, I'm crying for me."
I have never had anyone that is really close to me pass away, and O how I pray it's a long time until that happens, because inevitably, it will. I'm not sure how I will act or what I will do to try and cope with the strange feelings I will have.
I feel like I grew up all my life knowing that I will have to Bury my parents, after all I will live longer than them... right? I mean, that's the way it's going to be, I grow old, but my parents grow older, so they pass first.... WRONG! Until recently has that reality hit me in a weird way. When CJ's Aunt Pam passed away this last week, I felt so sad for Angie (my Mother-in-law) and her siblings. I can't, and don't want to, imagine the death of one of my closest friends on this earth, one of my siblings. O what a train wreck I would be! I grew up thinking, with my naive thoughts, that my parents would die first and I would have the support from all my siblings, and I know it sounds strange, but I hadn't realized how far from truth that is until now.
So in closing, with help fromm CJ's other Aunt, Shanna, and her blog post on the 17th (www.thesegolilypad.blogspot.com, sorry my link poster thing wouldn't work) I want you all to remember the small, sweet things in life that everyone around you helps you enjoy. And please tell the one's you love that you love them. So this is my shout out! To all the one's that I adore, smile with, laugh with, look up to, hang out with, blog about, and hug, please know that you are loved be me!